Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Bees of Atlanta

To the bees of Atlanta:

Your behavior lately has been shameful.

Now, I know you are watching me with your multiple number of eyes (which i'm sorry, it’s weird). 
I know you know how comfortable and relaxed I am as I read my book and enjoy the beautiful weather. 
And I know you know you’re driving me crazy with your constant buzzing.

Personally…. I think your doing it on purpose.

Maybe trying to get me back for killing your little friend?

the audacity!

You bees are so immature.

You may think I talk a big game. Yes I told you I would RAID your asses next time we came in contact.

And okay sure, you called my bluff. While I have yet to make this life saving purchase, I’ll have you know it’s on the tippity TOP of my grocery list.

Exhibit A
Now I am going to say this slowly and for the last time:

Leave me alone. Go find some other unexpecting resident to bother.  I thought surely the Windex I sprayed at yall would have scared you away. 
 Lucky for you, you are fast and my aim isn’t very good.     

so please go away.

Or else this will be the last Spring you see.

and yes that is a threat.

sincerely,
Chelsea Coleen
*the real queen bee*

14 comments:

Meg O. said...

lol. Too funny! Stupid bees! They should know better!

doreen said...

So funny! My husband was already stung the other day while he was riding his motorcycle. I am deathly allergic so I do my best to stay clear of the annoying buzzers.

Dawn said...

Like I said, I am deathly afraid of bees...I will jump out of a moving car to avoid one. Seriously!!! Very cute post!! Dawn Suitcase Vignettes xo

Margo Kelly said...

hello! I'm a new follower, visiting from the A-Z challenge. Nice to meet you. :)

Thomasina said...

Haha Chelsea, you tell 'em!

Sabrina Says said...

Your blog is adorable! I love your sense of humor as much as I love that you HATE bees as much as I do!

I couldn't imagine having to deal with them already... it's too cold in WA for bees.

Well good luck, and be careful! they are sneaky little buggers :)

Sabrina Says

Dafeenah said...

Stopping by to say hi from the challenge
Dafeenah

LCR said...

you tell 'em girl!!
i wouldn't like bees around either (although i wish it was warm enough for bees)
i hope they listen to your threats;)
xo
L

jayme said...

the real queen bee. haaahahah i love it so hard!

i don't understand why we call stone, stone. because it isn't his name (i fb creeped to the max) but i am just so confused. he'll forever be "stone" to me (and you) but i just didn't get it...

worldlvr said...

Hi! I'm a new follower and I think you are gorgeous and your blog is so hilarious & fun to read! I hate bees so much haha!

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hilarious! You know what is funny? Bugs do not freak me out at all, I'm all about them. Okay, I do not seek them out like I did in my younger years but I will put spiders outside, put beetles on my fingers to take outside, etc. But bees, forget it. I hate them. They really scare me. They are like the taliban! So I feel you on this post.

Shalyn said...

You know, I had never really had a problem with bees until one decided to randomly sting me on my lower back at the lake one day. Then came war. I share your disdain for them:-)

Gail @ Sophisticated Steps said...

Uh...you know those flowers you bought in the post AFTER this one? Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

And now I'm going to sound like your mother, (work with me here - assuming your mother would say what I'm about to say)...

Please don't kill the bees. :( Haven't you seen the BEE MOVIE? (I understand if you haven't because you probably don't have 3 little kids like I do - haha)...but bees are really important and they make things like ice cream. Well, actually they make honey (as if you didn't know), but read the ice cream cartons. It's true! I even saw a TV special about how bees are dying out and the world is going to end! (Well, yes, the world will end, just not necessarily b/c of the bees. Again...work with me.)

Maybe you could just ask them nicely to go pollinate the pretty new flowers you bought instead of buzzing around you. Perhaps you should skip the perfume and springy floral tops. You're just confusing them, that's all.

Lol.

But really - don't kill the bees. Por favor?

Sophisticated Steps

JoJo said...

I can't tell you enough good things about Raid! Please invest in it. These insects have a conspiracy against us I swear!